My understanding of learning to let go really became clear to me last year.
All of 2016, I was thoroughly obsessed with seeing the fruition of building and opening a new yoga studio in Surry Hills, Sydney. The challenges to set this particular space up were immense - from dealing with the local council, to managing the expectations of the landlord, and employment of an entire team of teachers and administrative staff. The obstacles piled up, one after the other, with no end to sight. I held on tight, for dear life. All my energy and everything I believed in went into this. My determination was limitless.
One night, during the midst of construction, one of the workers hit a fire sprinkler, and tremendous amounts of water gushed out all over the yoga studio space - four fire engines arrived, broke into our next door neighbour’s building to access the key to stop the water. The water damage to the building was extensive. I stood outside the property, and found myself silently laughing - what were the gods trying to tell me? Nonetheless, I was still blanketed with huge optimism and hope. I carried on. Finally, the doors to this studio opened.
But, something still didn't feel right. The space, though beautiful and luxurious, felt to me like it wasn't being supported. After a few months of operating, I came to the conclusion, that even after all of my best efforts, all of my energy, all of the work, and all of the funds that I put into this project, the studio had not come together in a way that I felt was sustainable. It was then that I made the difficult decision to close the studio. As soon as I did this, I felt an immense sense of relief. It was then that I understood that this was a project that I pushed from my willpower, as opposed to listening to my deeper intuition.
Even though, I had this understanding, I went through a lot of emotional turmoil of letting go. It was at this stage, when I really understood what letting go was all about. As it turns out now, I value this experience more than anything else in my life as it has enabled me to listen to my deepest instincts and still be able to courageously go forward to pursue my dreams and wishes, but also to know that there are some things that come along that are not fulfilling my true path.
One day after the decision had been made, I sat down with a fellow colleague and friend, and we reflected together. I asked him, “When will I know to persevere, despite all the challenges like any other strong-willed businesswoman; and when will I know, when the signs from the Universe are all pointing towards me not following my true path.” I still remember, that he looked at me and smiled, “That is a million dollar question.” It was a genuine moment of connection, and something I still reflect back upon every day since.
My teacher, Baron Baptiste, and his words have always stuck with me, “Try easy, don’t try hard.” The basic premise of this is that, if something is truly supported by the Universe, the task on hand should feel effortless. Everything that needs to happen appears right before you to make it happen in the most perfect, and complete way.
In 2017, I've had many changes take place in life, and I've resettled on a more full time basis in Asia to pursue projects that I'm passionate about. Consequently, I made the decision to let go of the Hom Yoga studio that I've built seven years ago in Darlinghurst, Sydney, to be able to achieve these next goals.
Baron’s words rang true to everything in the way it unfolded. The decision to move on from the business came first, and arrived so effortless into my soul - it was like I didn't have to try to think about it at all. I woke up one morning, and knew the decision had to be made. My past experiences of letting go were bearing great fruit.
By the end of the day, it was made - and that was that. Then, with tears in my eyes, and my heart so raw and open, I sat down to do my meditation. That particular day, I sat for nearly over an hour. I sank deep into a state where everything became one, the past and the future didn’t matter. There was only the now. And, my long term colleague, and friend, Dom Nguyen’s image and energy just kept coming up. I knew my intuition was guiding me where I needed to go.
The next morning, I called Dom up to have morning breakfast. I still remember, the sun was shining, the air was still and sharp, and everything felt alive around me. I expressed my intentions to Dom, and asked him if he would take this business over, and carry on with all the amazing work and goodwill we have already garnered in our yoga community. Immediately, he said yes. So effortless, and so easy. I didn’t even have to try. I knew then that everything in the Universe was supporting me in completing this journey in Sydney and of learning the lessons of letting go.
Since then, I have sold my house in Darlinghurst, Sydney and made the move to Singapore. Again, everything happened so easily, and so efficiently. I didn’t have to try at all. Whatever that needed to happen, happened, whatever that didn’t need to happen, didn’t happen, and all I had to do was listen and allow myself to be guided.
Nonetheless, it was emotional, I cried for days and days - and I asked myself one day, “Perhaps this is what letting go feels like?” Despite the emotions, I continued to feel this sense of complete peace, stillness and contentment; knowing fully that I’m following my true path, fulfilling my dharma, and allowing my destiny to unfold.
As my intuition guides me back to Asia, once again, I’m recommitting everyday to ensuring Hom Yoga in Singapore continues to flourish, grow, transform and change as needed with our community of students and teachers.
Since I have arrived on shore, new ideas, new projects, new collaborations, and new business relationships have been quickly borne. Already, all possibilities are arriving into me. Once again, I am learning to sit in the stillness of my being to allow myself to be guided.
One balmy day in Singapore, my husband and I were reflecting over a glass of wine. I told him, “I feel like a new born baby, starting again, fresh and shiny - with all possibilities ahead of me.”
At this moment, I allow myself to sit in the unknown. I continue with my internal practice of letting go of any preconceived expectations moment to moment, minute to minute, second to second. I open myself up to be guided along my true path, and to fulfil my life’s purpose. I give myself space to personally grow, and spiritually transform. I give myself the renewed opportunity to “try easy” in this next chapter.
I invite everyone to join me on this journey, and I look forward to listening to your stories of letting go and "trying easy".
By Malvina Kang